A lesson learnt...

I have learnt that...

...few people know about or appreciate the wisdom of Joseph Heller. And therefore when one posts an excerpt from his most celebrated book, with the intent of drawing parallels with it, one finds no takers and defnitely no comments.
On the other hand, when one writes about two loony but lovable young dudes trying to make it big for themselves in this big bad city of dreams, it appeals to all and sundry, and all kinds of feedback pours in.

Feedback when its good, feels good and one feels encouraged to continue. Since most of the feedback about R&D has been positive, I feel encouraged too to write more about them.

Therefore, I've decided to write more about them. But its 1.40 in the night right now and i really am very sleepy, so won't do that now.

Only one precious bit that i just have to mention.
You may find it wierd, but it's about their dental health. (Don't ask me why in the middle of the night must i write about this... it's just one of those things you have to do)..

So.. I was saying...
R has rotten and hollow molars, and is in serious and dire need of some major root canal treatment.
However he just refuses to visit a dentist for the following three reasons:
1. Doctors in Mumbai don't (apparently) administer local anesthesia, and since R is terrified of the sight of blood, he can't get himself to go ahead.
2. He truly cannot bear the pain - even if there is no blood
3. He feels he has no time. He maintains that he'll get it done in Goa (that's where he hails from)
sometime..but then when he's there he's too busy not doing anything to actually do something as tedious as visiting a dentist.

So basically he's in bad shape. And quite honestly i have little sympathy for him (just for his reason #1).

As for D...well I don't think he has such major dental issues, but I've noticed he's got an incorrigible sweet tooth and he's a total sucker for candy. In the morning, after lunch, at tea time, post dinner...that's all he can think about. It's a wonder he's not diabetic by now. Seriously, he's pretty nuts about candy for a grown up man of 25 yrs... :)
Though to be honest I have not seen him with any real candy lately... apparently he's being denied the sweet stuff. But anyone who knows him knows that its not gonna last too long. He just can't keep away from it :) Its not for nothing that we call him candyman :)

Anyway... more about their strange habits tomorrow.

Keep the feedback pouring in.

Sweet smiles always

Joseph Heller, you got it so right...

From Catch 22 :

Yossarian came to him one mission later and pleaded again, without any real expectation of success, to be grounded. Doc Daneeka snickered once and was soon immersed in problems of his own, which included Chief White Halfoat, who had been challenging him all that morning to Indian wrestle, and Yossarian, who decided right then and there to go crazy.
‘You're wasting your time,’ Doc Daneeka was forced to tell him.
‘Can't you ground someone who's crazy?’
‘Oh, sure. I have to. There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy.’
‘Then why don't you ground me? I'm crazy. Ask Clevinger.’
‘Clevinger? Where is Clevinger? You find Clevinger and I'll ask him.’
‘Then ask any of the others. They'll tell you how crazy I am.’
‘They're crazy.’
‘Then why don't you ground them?’
‘Why don't they ask me to ground them?’
‘Because they're crazy, that's why.’
‘Of course they're crazy,’ Doc Daneeka replied. ‘I just told you they're crazy, didn't I? And you can't let crazy people decide whether you're crazy or not, can you?’
Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. ‘Is Orr crazy?’ ‘He sure is,’ Doc Daneeka said.
‘Can you ground him?’
‘I sure can. But first he has to ask me to. That's part of the rule.’ ‘Then why doesn't he ask you to?’
‘Because he's crazy,’ Doc Daneeka said. ‘He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he's had. Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to.’
‘That's all he has to do to be grounded?’
‘That's all. Let him ask me.’
‘And then you can ground him?’ Yossarian asked.
‘No. Then I can't ground him.’
‘You mean there's a catch?’
‘Sure there's a catch,’ Doc Daneeka replied. ‘Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.’
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22 which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
‘That's some catch, that Catch-22,’ he observed.
‘It's the best there is,’ Doc Daneeka agreed.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And that... is how I feel towards my job!!

The Rogue & the Devil

R & D are two awesome men I know. Between them they're responsible for my daily dose of madness...

On the outside they're total opposites...but deeper down they have some soul connection that makes them incomplete without each other.

R is tall and lanky (likely to remain so all his life) while D is umm..a little short and sports a belly (likely to increase if I understand his genetic make-up right).
R has a headfull of long curly locks and D wears his straight hair short and military-like.
R is a rockstar at heart while D really wanted to be in Air Force..
R is the quiet kinds who you'd think would never hit on a girl (but he does)
D is the kind you just know is always trying to get lucky (but he doesn't. Try...that is). In reality he's the devoted monogamous type who even gets very worried and panicky with R's occasional PDA ways :)
R knows every rock number ever penned and sung and (claims) cannot stand hindi music, while D wants his Kajrare to get grooving...

But like i said...something just makes them click. They're like Joey and Chandler, except that neither is as funny as Chandler and nor has either had half as many women as has Joey.

They both live alone in Bandra (Bombay) and on most days after hours you could find them at a particular Barista in Bandra downing their Cappuccinos/ Americanos and being at peace with themselves.

R checks out the women (tactfully) while D connects with his intellectual self by pouring into some book and puffing at his cigarette simultaneously. That is, until R vigorously shakes him out of his concentration to point at some really hot chick.
Then they both get very excited and quickly transform into a couple of conniving boys with overactive entrepreneurial juices.

Within seconds they have a plan... They're the most dreaded mafia men in the world... with fat gold rings on their fingers and chains around their necks... they're the Gods of underworld with every imaginable shady deal to their credit. Most wanted by the Interpol they have a reward of millions for anyone who squeals on them. But not one person in 6 billion dares to.
They're rolling in money...and have not one unfulfilled desire. Dark Oakleys...diamond champaign...little guns.. and big booby girls on thier laps (with that hot chick as the prima donna) complete the picture of their deliriously luxurious life...

An hour passes and they're exhausted of their fast (fantasy) life already. They've done too many drug deals by then, had many... many sexy women, bought every single hotel, aircraft and island there ever was to buy, dodged many dangers, fooled the Interpol innumerbale times, and are ready to go down the road of spirituality and retreat to Malibu forever with a lifetime stock of cocaine.

A rumbling startles them and they're, quick as lightening, ready to pounce at the danger... Only to realize it's R's tummy making noises, reminding them rather unceremoniously of their humble and hungry reality.

They pick their bags, go in to pay. There's no need for talk to know who's turn it is to pay. They just know. They exit the cafe and take a minute to figure where to go for food. They take stock of finances and grimace a bit... 'Bad trip dude' - R says. D frowns. Well there's nothing to do about it... so they wordlessly march off towards their regular joint.

R : F***... where does the salary go dude!!
D : Maybe you get salary f***er... I get peanuts which I finish by the 3rd day....
R : Bad trip, dude...
D Puffs away and frowns

They take their regular seats at the regular place and the regular waiter approaches them.
Waiter : Regular, saab?
One of the saabs just glares in approval

They don't believe in overkill so they don't talk about their big Mafia plan anymore. Also because you don't talk about all that stuff at such places you know...

So they instead talk of the fast-approaching reality of work the next day. That's fantasy harakiri and very soon they're very pissed off. They smoke and pay the guy in silence. No tip for him today..the liver tasted burnt.

R (summarizing it all) : Bad trip dude...
D grimaces, scowls, puffs away, looks away.

And so the day comes to an end... and they head homeward. The night is still young and they both get back to their respective abodes full of light and noisy room-mates. After the mandatory socializing and phone-calls to girl-friends they call it a day.

R probably rocks himself to sleep (he has that RLM disorder thingie)... and D probably dozes off with the TV on (not sure coz i have not witnessed his bedtime ritual).

The next day dawns bright and sunshiny... and R&D are ready to take on the world. Err.. if only they could get a cab quickly since they're running about 45 minutes late...
Oh finally a cab. They furiously gesticulate for the cabbie, and jump into the cab the moment its in jumpshot..

D : F***er...we had to take the bus today... you overslept.
R : Bad trip ya dude...
D lights up, takes a puff, scowls, looks away...

A strange love for animals

I have learnt that there are two things that I need to have around me, for me to love a place and feel like home there. 1 - the sea, and 2 - animal life forms. The former - has to be close enough to visit often, and ideally, needs to be visible from my home. I have fortunately always lived in such houses. The two years that I lived away from home in a land-locked city I realize in retrospect were the strangest and wierdest. I blame that on being away from the sea. Thankfully I made a decision to return to Bombay before any permanent mental damage could happen.
Anyway, the latter (animal life forms) includes stray dogs and cats and birds. I love them and get very suspicious of and uncomfortable at places where there seem to be none of these. My only crib with Dubai.
Other than that, I don't mind a rare glimpse of some harmless insects like grasshoppers and ants too - as long as they're in minuscule numbers and not really invading my home.
During monsoons I like the sight of rainy-creepy crawlies like earthworms and leaches, and that of the hoppy frogs.
Sighting an elephant is considered lucky and anyway since I like those gentle giants, a glimpse of one once in a while is good.
Camels I don't much care for... they belong in the desert and that's where they should remain. Cows and buffalos belong to the villages and that's where they should remain too.
There are others that are strictly forbidden from my home and surrounding - mosquitoes, cockroaches, lizards, any any other insect variety.
But in all the point remains that I like animals.

A regal eagle on its perch... In Dubai. I was STARVED for the sight of life-forms there.

Tried to make friends with Mr. Eagle, but I think he wasn't too impressed. Probably likes the look of the Lebanese girls better :(

In Dubai again - this cat was the 1st animal i saw after having spent a week there. I was so happy i took pictures. This is the best i could get...

So what if the eagle wasn't interested in me... I know one can always rely on our canine friends to be affectionate and totally delightful

Isn't this an 'aaaaawww' pic!! Found these little idiots yesterday at this place we'd gone to for a picnic. The mum was around and didn't look too welcoming of us city people... so I held back the urge to pick up one of these.

Anyway, I'm sure R&D are gonna wonder what's WITH me that i go on and on about these 'nature' and animal thingies!! :) Jokes will probably be made about this stuff, and I'm sure I'm in for some shit feedback...

But now that I understand them a bit, I know what the real problem is. Guys, I'm gonna write about u very soon, and you shall be so proud of me. Promise. Watch this space... :))

The green eyed monster

PS is an ok-hot chick at work. I used to think she was one nasty li'll cat..till i realized she's ok.

But today this was our li'll exchange :

RS (Walks into office cheerful and humming to herself, feeling good about her clothes and overall)

PS (Taking one head-to-toe look at RS) : You know RS, if you lose weight you'll actually start looking HOT..

RS (deflated ego) : Oh...ok.. wow! Thanks!

Nasty li'll cat!

Inspired

Pink it´s my new obsession

Pink it´s not even a question

Pink on the lips of your lover,

´cause Pink is the love you discover

Pink as the bing on your cherry

Pink ´cause you are so very

Pink it´s the color of passion

`Cause today it just goes with the fashion

Pink it was love at first sight,

yea Pink when I turn out the light,

and Pink gets me high as a kite

And I think everything is going to be all right

No matter what we do tonight

Reflections

Cought I in a reflective moment in Goa, looking out of the window, making a pretty picture for a cool silhouette photographer

My favorite landscape pictures

This picture I took in Dubai last year...
There's something magical about the desert. You never can imagine how lovely it looks until you see it for yourself. And it can really make you very melancholy.

Sunsets... universally loved and pictured. This one is of a glorious one that i saw from my balcony at home. Wherever I go I long to return to this home for the peace I find in the balcony..

Another sunset.. This one was at Bagha beach at Goa last Christmas. Goa's a place after my own heart and with Ad & Teffoo I had the most awesome time here. :) Oh the nostalgia!!

Foggy morning in Delhi.

That city is strange...so pretty and so hostile. So unlike Bombay. Someone told me once that no-one owns Bombay and yet it belongs to all, whereas in Delhi, its the opposite... Everyone owns Delhi, and yet it belongs to no-one!

Not so much of a landscape... but pretty nevertheless. Dubai is a city that amazes me with its contrast. The sea and the desert, the mosques and the night-clubs, the melee and the order..
This is a picture from my office in Diera overlooking the creek

Unusual professions that fascinate me

I am a Qualitative Market Researcher by profession. Don't be fooled by the sound of it - what it basically means is that I get paid to go around asking people about their opinion about different things. Things like marriage, retirement, college-life, shampoos, shoes, diamonds, condoms, cars, books etc etc etc..
My friends think its very cool that I travel all over the country and stay in the best hotels in some of the coolest places... but trust me it all seriously just about ok.

If money wasn't the thing...and if I knew how to, these are some of the things I'd really wanna do..
1) Be a crooner
Have you ever imagined what much of the music we love would sound like without these awesome people who do the back-up vocals. Oh how i'd love to be a crooner!!! I'm sure you done the singing-in-front-of-the-mirror-with-a-hairbrush-for-a-mike... No? Well I do it all the time.. Only, i'm not trying to be Madonna... I'm trying to perfect the oooooooooooooooohs and the hey-heyyyyyyyys :))
Oh how i'd love to be a crooner!!

2) Own a shop of imitiation jewellery
I know this is perhaps quite achievable... but then i'm not writing about what's unachieveable . I'm writing about stuff that I will perhaps not get around doing in my life and which i would love to. And I would love to own a shop with imitation and silver jewellery. Ohh to think of all that gorgeous...gorgeous stuff at my disposal.
On second thoughts..i think i'll make a very bad store owner, considering i'd probably kep all the cool stuff for myself and refuse to sell any!

3) Host a travel show on TV
Do i even need to elaborate on this one -- I think just about everyone in their right mind would love this job. Gosh is it even a job? You travel to the most exotic places in the world, stay in the best places, do the coolest things AND get paid big bucks!!!! Woah!And please no one who does this for a living write to me about how it screws up your social life and how tiring it is. Buzz off... if you hate it, swap places with me and let me do it instead!!

4) Be a dolphin trainer
Again - anyone who does this please DO NOT tell me about the difficulties of the job. Im' sure its tough. I'm sure it doesn't pay millions.... but while i'm fantasizing, please don't burst my happy bubble. I'm thinking of myself as the master trainer who's got plenty of money to not worry about it. I'm thinking of these sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet dolly-phins in looooooooooooooooooooove with me.
Sighhh! How i resent my job. I never get to see dolphins!

5) Be a body peircing artist
This is the sadist in me longing to inflict some pain on humanity. I think i would be a damn good pain-inflictor. In fact I would be so good that I would be painless. I'd be master at peircing eye-brows, nipples, bellybutton and what nots... Wow!!

:)

Ok enough daydreaming I suppose. Time for me to get back to my mundane work and to my presentation about why women love perfumes; and put away all the expensive samples of designer perfumes that're lying scattered at my desk!
:(

Keep smiling always - u never know who's noticing it

Why random angst?

I was not born angstful. I believe I was a very peaceful baby and a quiet child for many years. But in those quiet years I learnt to silently observe things that others didn't, and make my own judgment about issues. As a result my mind got pretty full of shit ideas about just about everything under the sun. Except things that I know nothing about. Like football. I don't follow football unlike RF who's mad about it.
Anyway, coming back to the point -- being a quiet sort of a kid i never did (and still don't) discuss these much with anyone... but a blog is a good idea to just let it all out..makes place in the mind for new shit ideas...

Sis says i'm mad I take so much stress about things.. She says that because she can't understand why I need to tell all the cabbies to not honk...or why I had to lecture the florist the other day about how old fashioned his arrangements were...or why while reading the newspaper I must get so verbally worked up and abuse just about everything and everyone.

She doesn't understand - it's not stress... its just angst. I've tried explaining but i don't think she got it. Now, all she needs to do is read on. Here, on this blogsite she is going to find all her answers - about why cabbies honking, florists doing a bad job and current day newspapers gimme angst...

:-) Stay all smiles always...