Two worlds

Slept late, woke up late. Gonna reach office late. Bitch of a presentation waiting to be finished... and another 10000 things that need 'to be looked into', "asap". Attn: Imp. Urgent. Reminder.

Screw you all. Rotten mood, urge to snap at someone. Maybe even slap someone. That's important too since its on the 30-things-before-30 list. Maybe i'll do it today.

But then i've killed the urge so many times before so maybe i will again. Ain't i so sweet!

There's a carnival on. There're jokers trying to make me laugh, sweet-sellers trying to tempt me with goodies that spell disaster, street-magicians doing unbelievable tricks, painted dancers casting an enchanting spell, and a lot of noise of songs i like, drum beats, trumpets and laughter. This is a happy place - bright, cheerful and warm. It makes me smile in the middle of many things serious and boring. What keeps me sane. My li'll trick on the world.

I don't like her. Downright despise her. Don't trust her a bit, think she's a scumbag and capable of the stooping to the lowest degree. One of the few people in the world that makes my flesh crawl. I don't wanna see her face, don't wanna hear her voice. The walls and the headphones are my cocoonshells... helping me block her out. Angry, hateful, vengeful, rebellious. Mirthful. Irresponsible. Prankster. She brings out the worst in me.

Promises, secret messages, songs e-mailed, CDs sent. Compliments, mock insults, questions, answers. Teasing texts. Crossword clues. Trivia. An exit route, a new direction, a new life, a key to the shackles. Anticipation. Eagerness. Happiness.

My two world co-exist every minute. Not harmoniously, not peacefully. They're at loggerheads, each powerful and strong. As they wage their war in my head, i alternate between the highs and lows that could put the best rollercoaster ride to shame. Can't stand it for long, it's gotta stop. These are perhaps the best days of my life.